Week 36: Homeless in the Heat

Southeastern Wisconsin is heating up.  The temperatures have been in the upper 80s the past few days served alongside generous portions of high humidity.  It is during our hot summers (we reach the 90s more often than I'd like along with an occasional day or two or 10 over 100 degrees) and bitterly cold winters (don't even get me started on the -40 windchill...) that I find myself thinking about the homeless population even more often than usual. 

This week, my children and I visited a homeless shelter I've volunteered at (making lunches and handing them out to those in need) this week to drop off bottles of water and toiletry items. 

A carton of milk is handed out with each meal, but I've made an effort to donate bottles of water regularly the past few summers so that the recipients have a bottle to take with them and refill throughout their days to stay hydrated.  This time we dropped off 80 bottles.

In addition, we donated 125 shampoos, conditioners, soaps, tubes of toothpaste, toothbrushes, sunscreen, and hand-wipes that we've been setting aside from hotel visits and purchasing at a discount.  

On our way out of the facility, we passed a father and his young son walking in to receive free lunches. Once we got outside I looked at my children and said, "That boy and his dad are here to eat lunch."

Without missing a beat, my kids huddled together and decided to give the boy a large bin of LEGO bricks they had just purchased at a rummage sale on our way into Milwaukee.  When the father and son came back out, I approached the dad and asked if my children could give his son a gift. 

They happily accepted and were cheerfully on their way. 

We got back into our car feeling richer haven just given possessions away.

It's pretty cool how that happens.

"It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."  - Mother Teresa

Week 35: Flags of Freedom

To say this week's Kindness Countdown activity was humbling is an understatement.

I contacted Wood National Cemetery in Milwaukee a few months ago in preparation for this year's Memorial Day weekend, requesting my family's names be placed on their volunteer list to place American flags on the graves of the veterans buried there.

Before arriving, my husband and I talked about proper cemetery behavior with our children and reminded them what Memorial Day is all about.

Our family was assigned a small portion of the 38,000 graves, given a tutorial on inserting the flags into their desired location (one foot-length from the stone), and shown to the bin of flags to be distributed.

Because the ground was dry, inserting the flags required two hands and a little elbow grease.  We took turns holding the large bundles of flags, carefully handing flags out one at a time to those planting them in the ground.  I was thankful we gave the kids a refresher course on proper flag protocol before arriving so they knew not to drop or lay them on the ground.

Photo compliments of WISN-12 Milwaukee who filmed and aired a segment on the Kindness Countdown project on May 21, 2015. Viewing is available here:  http://goo.gl/zS4GPO

We were fairly quiet as we worked.  Being surrounded by the striking white stones, you couldn't help but feel the sacrifices made for our freedom.  Viewing the names of each veteran who so bravely defended our great nation was quite moving.

Once we completed our assigned section we visited the area of the cemetery where my grandfather and uncle/godfather are buried and placed flags at their graves as well.  And then I shed a few tears as I, once again, told my children about these two great men who proceeded them in our loving family and whose loss if felt daily. 

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:13

Wdek 34: Cards with Karen Refugees

Karenni refugee families fled Karen (near Burma, also called Myanmar) to save their lives and escape the ethnic conflict which has existed there for decades. Over 1,000 Karenni refugees live in the Milwaukee area, most of whom are ethnic minorities in Burma. 

After years as a teacher's aid in one of the best public schools in Wisconsin, my mom was hired by a small private school in the Milwaukee area to help alleviate their need for academic tutoring and cultural mentorship for the refugee children who were sponsored to attend there. 

I found this accurate description of their people and culture on KarenniRefugees.com:

"The Karenni are a resilient, gracious people with a great sense of humor. They have a very strong work ethic, and don’t complain. They live out of a basic belief that life is difficult, so you do what you have to do in order to survive. If faced with a difficult task, they might respond with ‘a lay hey oh to’ (it doesn’t matter/ no problem). They demonstrate great dignity in providing for themselves and helping their fellow Karenni. They have a very strong connection and commitment to their own country, language, culture and people. They are not easily offended by outsiders (Americans), and are very appreciative of any kind of help they receive. Unfortunately, it is very difficult for them to ask for help, even if they desperately need it. They might be almost completely out of food, yet give you the last food that they have if you came to visit."

My children and I volunteered to be after-school tutors one afternoon this week.  After introducing ourselves, we helped the children with their spelling and memorization. 

Once their assigned homework was complete, we handed out the decks of cards I had purchased and began teaching them various card games. We played numerous games of Crazy 8 (a family favorite) and discussed the rules of Go Fish and Solitaire. 

After only a few turns each of Crazy 8, these children who were originally so timid and shy began smiling, laughing and opening up.  They talked about their families and the games they play.  We left feeling thankful for all we take for granted and the opportunity to share the experience with such friendly people.  And the students were all thrilled to leave with their very own deck of cards! 

We're already excited to go back again soon!

“Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.” - Josh Billings

Week 33: Servicing the City with Smiles

Our trash is picked up each Tuesday morning by the most amazing garbage man, or G-Man, as he's called to the residents of our town.  Not only does he manage the task of the entire city's garbage on his own, but he also saves live.  Seriously.  He once recognized a woman's wave as not her usual wave, and called 911.  Our town had a meeting at city hall to honor him. 

I'm not making this up...

And so, with our garbage collection on the horizon, I spent Monday night working on this week's Kindness Countdown activity: baking cookies for our G-Man and mail carrier. 

Not be out-shined by our G-Man, our mail carrier is also an amazing person.  I'm not exaggerating; she once gave my brother the 3rd degree when he answered our door while dog-sitting...she asked where I was, if my husband was home and if our children were inside.  She even followed up that evening and the following day.

Now that I'm writing all of this, I'm feeling like cookies weren't enough...I sure am glad I also included handwritten notes thanking them for all they do for us.  (:

"You could be the world's best garbage man, the world's best model; it doesn't matter what you do if you're the best." - Muhammad Ali

Week 32: Charities for Change

Our world seems to be in chaos.  Thousands of people have perished due to the earthquake that hit Nepal.  Baltimore is in turmoil.  And news of violence in my home state of Wisconsin have received daily the past few weeks. 

It's easy to get swept up in the negativity, to throw your hands in the air and bury your head in the sand. 

But don't.

Please do not run and hide.  Please do not give up.

Please battle negativity in your home by seeing the gift it is to take care of others.  Please give of your time and give back to your community, for it is in the giving that we receive.  Please pray for those that are hurting.  Please donate time and funds to charities if you are able, to better the lives that are less fortunate. 

As the saying goes, be the change you wish to see in the world. 

The Kindness Countdown activity for week 32 was a donation to Lutheran World Relief to aid those suffering in Nepal while donating to a group in Baltimore. 

How did I settle upon donating to this charity when there are so many collecting?  I began by reading this NPR article which highlighted charities that have passed a gamut of litmus tests and then I looked for charities I've read about or donated to in the past. 

LWR is one that I've had experience with over the years in my church...and I liked that it's headquarters are in Baltimore...a place that needs some extra love right now.

The other piece to this week's Kindness Countdown activity is that I've made (and will continue to make) an extra effort to smile and positively interact with everyone I've come into contact with. 

I know that an unexpected compliment from a stranger or someone taking an extra five seconds out of their busy day to hold a door open for me has lifted my spirits in the past...I hope I can do the same for others during this less-than-peaceful time.  

"Life's most persistent and urgent questions is, 'What are you doing for others?'" - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Week 31: Kids in Control

I have dressed my children almost every day for over 11 years.  And I remind them to do their chores, to brush their teeth, to wash their faces, to make their beds, to practice dance/riding exercises/soccer drills/piano/etc.  As though that weren't enough, in addition to all of the general bossiness that comes along with being a parent, my children are also homeschooled. 

In summary, my children receive my well-intentioned input nearly 24/7.  Poor kids.

I read an article on Babble a couple of months ago about a mom who had her young son pick out her clothes every day for a week...complete with mismatched shoes and a Mickey Mouse t-shirt.  My first reaction was, "This is so cute, I wish I had thought of doing that with my kids when they were younger." 

But if I'm being truthful, deep down, I think I was a bit relieved I thought the time had passed because, well, who wants to walk around feeling self-conscience?  

Hair, clothing and accessories have always been important to me.  They have never been as important as faith and family, but they have been highly-ranked for as long as I can remember.  Even in my childhood when money was tight and a portion of my clothing was shopped for at Goodwill, I managed to put some killer outfits together thanks to the lessons I learned from my stylish grandma and the love of classics I inherited from my mom. 

After having the Babble article percolate in my mind for a month or so I pitched the idea to my children as we ran errands for Week 29's activity.  I explained that I'd like to do something nice for them...to hand over some control.  I told them that each of them would have two days to plan my outfits, hair, jewelry and shoes and in addition, plan an activity for us to do during the day.  

The rules I laid out for myself were: I could tell NO ONE about this "experiment" until it was over and I had to make eye contact, smile, and interact with strangers wherever we went.  The latter certainly isn't out of the scope of everyday activity for me, but seeing as I had no clue what I'd be wearing for the next six days, I wanted to make the interactions a verbal requirement to hold myself to.

The kids LOVED the idea and were eager to begin making their selections.  I assume you, the reader, feel similar anticipation regarding the viewing of their selections, so, without further ado...

Day 1 - My 6 year old daughter was thrilled to have the first day!  She selected the shirt because it had birds on it, the pants because they were green (her favorite color), the shoes because they were "shiny and look like cheetahs" and a small braid framing each side of my face.  I wore this fun outfit on a walk to our favorite local custard stand where we got a few scoops with fun toppings.  On the way home we stopped at a playground. I noticed one woman take in my shoes and silently judge my selection while we waited for our custard.  When she looked up I smiled and said, "Hello, how are you?  Isn't it a beautiful day?"  She smiled awkwardly, said yes, and walked away. 

Day 2 - My 8 year old daughter was in control on day two.  Without any hesitation she picked out my silk-patched jeans (she has similar jeans and loves that we can match) and then a navy shirt with pick embroidery "to match the pink in the patches."  The shoes were chosen because they were colorful and my hair was instructed to go into a French braid (she's been obsessed since learning how to craft them last month).  Her planned activity was a bike ride to a local ice cream parlor for cones (are you seeing a dairy treat theme yet?) that we ate outside in the sun.

Day 3 - My 11 year old son, a huge Green Bay Packers fan, picked out my outfit and our outing on day three.  He made a beeline for my green and gold shirt and paired it with some teal chinos and moccasins.  I never would have put these pieces together, but I have to say I really dig it and just might wear this ensemble again.  My son wanted my hair "down and plain" for the day and instructed me to put it behind my shoulders for the picture "to really show the shirt."  We visited a local coffee shop for their baked Irish oatmeal (one of his favorite meals) for his outing which we ate outside. A man smiled back at me and told me he liked my moccasins and concluded with "Go Pack Go!" 

Day 4 - My youngest was back in the driver's seat for day four.  Later in the day, when I told my husband I was running out in my carefully-crafted outfit he asked, "Are you going to the grocery store or to the circus?"  My favorite 6 year old picked out gray wool trousers with a small plaid comprised of burgundy and cobalt blue and to compliment them she chose a turquoise shirt, bright orange belt, cross necklace and black high heels...and a turquoise ribbon to tie in a bow around my ponytail.  When she saw it all put together she gasped and said, "You look so pretty!"  Tears formed in my eyes as I smiled back and hugged her.  We went to Dairy Queen for cones dipped in a hard cherry coating and while I may have felt uncomfortable in this outfit otherwise, my daughter's loving words stayed with me and I thought of them every time I caught my reflection in a mirror or window.  And not a single person gave me an odd look the entire day.  Well, except my husband.  (:

Day 5 - My oldest daughter picked out my patched jeans again for day five and the same "colorful shoes," but this time she paired them with a "matching" colorful belt and maroon shirt.  She wanted my hair in a loose braid down my back "like I wear to Irish dance" she explained.  Her planned activity was a trip to a different local coffee shop for their monster cookies, which my kids go gaga for.  "Can we each get our own?" she asked.  "You're in charge," I said, even though the cookies are roughly the size of their heads.  We obviously ordered four cookies.  And enjoyed every bite.

Day 6 - For our final day my son picked out "just your normal jeans" and a gold-striped shirt that he said he thinks I "look nice in."  He picked out some coordinating taupe flats and instructed me to wear my hair down.  He also asked me to change from the cross necklace I had been instructed to wear the previous two days to my Tali Gillette mama necklace that has rarely left my neck since his baby fingers fit into the center.  Everyone cheered when he said we were heading to local caramel apple boutique for his activity.  We even saved a slice for daddy!  

So, what did we gain through this activity, outside of satisfying our sweet teeth? Quite a bit, actually:

1. My children greatly enjoyed having control over their day and took pride in the selections they made.
2. People you meet on the street don't really notice what you're wearing...but they do notice when you smile and engage in conversation.  
3. My daughters (girls) prefer my hair back and my son and husband (boys) prefer my hair down.  I don't think this is a limited preference to only the males and females in my family.
4. Children are not in a hurry to get places...the means of transportation to a destination is much more important that the timeliness of arriving there.  They chose to walk or bike almost everywhere we went.  Note to self: I need to slow down and enjoy the ride.
5. Apparently my children don't appreciate my "plain jeans" as much as I like wearing them.
6. Relinquishing control is healthy and feels good.  Waking up without any decisions to make over my appearance was very freeing.  
7. My children have inherited my mom and grandmas' impressive sense of style. 
8. Kind and encouraging words have the power to make you feel pretty and turn your day around.  Spread kindness. 

When tucking my children into bed on day six my daughters asked if they could dress me again in summer "so we can put you in skirts and dresses."  My son quickly added that mini-golfing will be one of his activities. 

I now have another reason to look forward to summer!

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows and the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.” - Audrey Hepburn

Week 30: Supporting Our Servicemen and Women

I have many friends and family who are actively serving or have proudly served our country in the Marine Corps, Army, Navy and Air Force.  I am in awe of their sacrifice and devotion to our freedom on a daily basis.  For week 30 of the Kindness Countdown I reached out to some of them to ask what the best way to honor their sacrifices would be...and they directed me to the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society. 

The donation that I made will help the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society's efforts to provide (free or interest-free) financial assistance and education to military members and their family members, widows and survivors. 

The main goal of the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society is "to help each person who comes to us get support for their immediate needs."  Their long-term mission is "to help Sailors and Marines become financially self-sufficient by learning how to better manage their personal finances and prepare for unplanned expenses."

Services provided by the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society include:

• Financial Assistance and Counseling
• Quick Assist Loans
• Education Assistance
• Health Education and Post-Combat Support
• Budget for Baby classes
• Emergency Travel
• Disaster Relief  

If you'd like to donate to the Society visit www.nmcrs.org.

"America's fighting men and women sacrifice much to ensure that our great nation stays free.  We owe a debt of gratitude to the soldiers that have paid the ultimate price for the cause as well as for those who are blessed enough to return from the battlefield unscathed." - Allen Boyd